


In Your Eyes ...

by darket15



Category: D. Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Partner Betrayal, Romance, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 23:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darket15/pseuds/darket15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>YULLEN WEEK 2012 - Kanda breaks it off with Allen after finding out Allen has slept with another man. Will this separate them forever, or is this deception from another source?</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Your Eyes ...

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Yullen Week 2012 – Day 5 ~ Theme: SINNER & SAINT ~ Happy Birthday Kanda and Allen.
> 
> BETA READER: RayneLover101  
> DISCLAIMER: D. Gray-man and characters belong to Katsura Hoshino’s: Kanda Yu and Allen Walker (Bean Sprout)

* * *

 

“Hey Kanda, welcome back from your mission,” Lavi greets him in passing.

“Where the hell is Bean Sprout,” Kanda asks, sharply.

“Ah … in your room,” Lavi says, feeling intense anger emitting from him.

Kanda stomps off to their room, arms straight at his sides, fists in a ball, cursing under his breath.

‘Wow, I wonder what Allen did now,’ Lavi’s thinking, as he watches the young samurai march down the hallway.  

Kanda flings open the door to their room, slamming it against the wall, startling Allen who is sitting at the table reading.

“Kanda, your home … what’s the matter … what’s happened … are you …” Allen stutters, suddenly worried.

“Shut the fuck up you cheating bastard!” he yells at Allen, slamming the door shut.

“What? You’ve lost me Kanda … what did I cheat at …” Allen says, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Us you prick! How could you sleep with someone else! Don’t deny it. I got it all first hand from a Finder!” Kanda explodes, standing in front of Allen his legs firmly planted, eyes cold and hard.

“Was it the one time or have you been having an affair with him all along?” Kanda roars, fuming, his eyes snapping and snarling.

“I have _never_ cheated on you,” Allen’s voice cracks, as he’s grasping the severity of the situation at hand. 

“How could you even think or believe I would do something like that!” he says, now raising his voice, tears blurring his vision at the accusation.

“There’s no use denying it … I heard it from one of _our_ people … a Finder wouldn’t lie about something like this!” Kanda is beyond furious at Allen’s betrayal to him.

“Kanda, please … settle down so we can talk about this. It didn’t happen! You have always trusted me … I love _you_ Kanda and I would _never_ jeopardizes our relationship. You mean too much to me,” Allen chokes, with tears streaming down his face.

“It happened, Bean Sprout. Now face up to the consequences of your actions,” he says, his voice flat and hard feeling broken inside.

“I can’t stay I have to go immediately to my next assignment. I came home to let you know it’s _over_ between us. Put your stuff together and get the fuck – out – of – my – life!” Kanda says slowly, to emphasize his hurtful words.

“No … don’t say that … Kanda you can’t do this to us. I didn’t do anything wrong! Please, listen to me … it can’t be over …” Allen says, confused and hurt, his body trembling.   

“I’m telling you it’s over Bean Sprout and I didn’t do anything to us… _you_ did!” Kanda yells, suddenly his own pain striking sharp and deep, constricting his voice making it difficult to speak.

Kanda walks to the door and opens it to leave, Allen makes one last plead, “I didn’t do anything wrong Kanda. I only wish you trust me enough to know that … you are the _only_ one I love,” Allen cries out through his tears.

“Well, evidently you didn’t love me enoughto not cheat on me. Have your things out of our … I mean … my room by the time I return from this mission,” Kanda chokes, in a quivering voice, as he walks through the doorway, not turning around, slamming the door behind him.

Once outside the door, Kanda physically weakens from his confrontation with Allen, he leans against the wall for support. ‘It’s over. I feel like I’m suffocating … drowning in agony … my walls closing in on me. I don’t want to believe this, I don’t want to leave him,’ Kanda screams inside.

He sees Lavi walking up the corridor. ‘He can’t see me like this. I have to hide to pull myself together.’ Holding his stomach in pain he disappears down a darken hallway.

Lavi sees Kanda ahead but he hurries off down the other hallway doubled over as if in pain.  There’s a pit in Lavi’s stomach sensing something terrible has happened between his friends. ‘I have to see if Allen’s all right.’

Inside their room, Allen is stun, ‘how could this happen? Who would say such lies? Please Kanda come back to me! The pain in my heart feels like someone stabbing me over and over.’ Crippled by the shock he collapses onto their bed crying.

There is a light rap on his door and opens to reveal Lavi with wrinkles on his forehead showing concern and biting his lip, worried as he sees Allen crumple upon the bed, crying.

“Allen … are you alright? I had to make sure you’re okay. Kanda ducked down one of the hallways when he saw me. It’s all he could do to hold himself together, what’s happen Allen?”  Lavi asks softly, sitting down on the bed.

“Kanda’s left me …. {Choke}.”

“What … but why?” Lavi asks, touching Allen’s shoulder.

“He said … that … a Finder … told him … I … I … had {choke} … slept with someone else,” he stammers out then turns to look up at Lavi, his eyes and face red from crying and those beautiful silver eyes holding so much pain.

“Did you?” 

“ _Lavi!_ How could you think that! Get out of here!” Allen sobs harder, from his friend’s demeaning question to him.

“I had to ask, that’s all. I can’t imagine you sleeping with anyone but Kanda … you are … well … you’re so in love with him,” Lavi says, his voice warm and steady.

‘Who would ever say something like this to break them up? The way Kanda had looked … well … it’s like someone who’s heartbroken. Kanda really does love Allen.’ Lavi has always felt Kanda never really loved Allen that he had been there just to use Allen.

Allen grabs Kanda’s pillow, hugging it with all his strength, moaning mournfully into it, releasing the pain inside him.

“Kanda … come back to me … please come back to me … I didn’t do anything wrong … I love you … he has to believe me … Lavi help me!” The agony inside of Allen is twisting and churning making him feel nausea as he sobs heavily, pain stabbing at his chest.

Lavi tugs him into his arms, hugging him tightly to his chest. One hand rubs Allen’s back, the other grabs his soft white hair lightly scrunching it between his fingers. Tears fill Lavi’s eyes as he listens to his friend mourning his lover his own heart aching. ‘I have to find out who did this to them,’ Lavi is angrily thinking.

Kanda stops further down the darken hallway, unable to continue on, doubled over holding his stomach — his pain intense. He leans his back against the wall, closing his eyes, not understanding the strong burning in his chest.

‘I have never experienced such an overwhelming feeling of loss.’ Kanda shudders, clutching himself as if chilled. He slides down the wall his legs shaky and weak to sit on the floor. ‘These feelings can’t be because it’s over with Bean Sprout. Wasn’t I with him only because I’m physically attracted to him? I couldn’t possible have real feelings towards him — could I?

I know he fell in love with me and this is difficult for him … but he’s the one who slept with someone else — right? Why would a Finder lie to me? To think of someone else having sex with him … well … it drives me insane. How could he betray me like that? Or did he? Why do I doubt myself now?’

Kanda drags himself up off the floor and leans back against the wall. ‘I have to pull myself together. The team is waiting for me to leave.’ He takes in a deep breath and exhales but it doesn’t take away any of the feelings burning inside of him.  

Meanwhile inside their room, Lavi continues holding Allen, listening to his weeping and sobbing, trying to sooth him. Overwhelmed, Allen sobs become strong and he starts vomiting which turns into dry heaves for the next ten minutes. Allen is mentally and physically exhausted. Finally his eyes become heavy and he allows himself to fall asleep. Worried, Lavi leaves the room to find Komui.

“I’m glad you had come to get me Lavi. I knew something had been upsetting Kanda his complexion was pale looking almost sickly. His shoulders had drooped forward which isn’t like Kanda. I wondered if it might have something to do with Allen and him. Tell me what happened,” he says, as he is examining Allen.

Lavi explains the situation to Komui to which he replies, “Allen would never do that to Kanda and I do know him well enough to believe him. I wonder who the Finder is that told Kanda. I will do some calling around to see what I can find out Lavi. In the meantime, would you mind staying with Allen through the night?”

“Not at all Komui, I had planned on doing so anyway, in case he wakes up I didn’t want him to do something stupid to himself.”

“Good thinking. I’ll check in the morning to see how he’s doing. You’re a good friend to both of them,” Komui says, leaving the room.

It turns out to be an emotionally painful night for Lavi. His heart broke every time Allen would shudder in his arms weeping and sobbing to the point of vomiting again and again. 

He continues vomiting until he didn’t have anything left in his stomach to come up which then turns to dry heaves. Allen clings onto Lavi tightly, sometimes muttering Kanda’s name, in such a manner one might have thought he had succumb to madness. Finally, Allen, once again, exhausts himself enough to fall back asleep.

Lavi lies with him stroking his soft, white hair now wet with sweat. ‘Poor Allen, look what you have done to him Kanda. You mean everything to him.’ Lavi falls asleep holding him tightly afraid that if he let go Allen he would fall apart.

Komui shows up in the morning to find Lavi still holding him leaning his head against Allen’s. Allen is sleeping with Lavi’s arm around his shoulders, his own arm lies across Lavi’s chest holding on. They both look exhausted and concern shows on Komui’s face seeing Allen looking paler than normal.

Lavi peeks open his eye and smiles at Komui. Komui smiles back whispering, “Are you alright Lavi?” Lavi nods yes and then glances down to see if Allen is still sleeping.

“I will have some soup sent up for Allen and solid food for you Lavi. Allen doesn’t look very well this morning. With all his dry heaves last night he’s going to have sore stomach muscles. Make sure he rests today, he needs it,” Komui says and takes his leave.

Allen awoke to the warm body holding him. ‘Kanda came back,’ is his first thought but the scent is of this person isn’t Kanda and he remembers Lavi had stayed with him last night. Allen shifts his position only to feel his sore body ache in doing so.

“Allen … are you okay?” Lavi whispers to him.

“I ache all over, my stomach is sore and I have a headache,” Allen answers back quietly.

“I had Komui check you over last night because you had been dry heaving for so long. He said this morning your stomach will be sore from that. He also brought up some soup. Would you like some?”

“Yes, please,” Allen whispers.

Lavi attempts to sit up only to have Allen cling harder to him. “It’s alright Allen. I’m just going over to the table to get the soup for you,” Lavi says softly, gently prying Allen’s tight grip from his arm.

He helps Allen sit up in bed and then walks over to the table to retrieve the soup. Sitting down on the bed he hands Allen the bowl of soup. Allen is too shaky to hold the bowl himself, so Lavi holds it while he eats. ‘It’s amazing what can happen to someone, so quickly after a traumatic experience like this.’

Allen sips the soup. The warm liquid feels good sliding down his dry throat and pooling into his sore stomach. 

“Lavi, I’m so sorry to be a burden to you but thank you for being here with me,” Allen says, hoarsely.

“That’s what friends are for Allen. I’ll stay with you as long as you need me, understood?”

“Yes,” Allen says, with a slight smile on his face.

“Do you want to talk about it Allen or is it still too painful?” Tears pool in Allen’s eyes once again indicating it’s still too painful to talk about and shakes his head no.

“Lavi, would you hold me again?”Allen whispers, as tears roll down his cheeks.

“Of course,” Lavi climbs back in bed with Allen, pulling him into his arms he leans Allen’s head against his chest. Unconsciously, Lavi kisses the top of Allen’s head. ‘You have always been very dear to me Allen. If Kanda hadn’t snatched you I would have.’

Meanwhile, far away from headquarters, Kanda is on assignment near where he will be able to see his friend and confident, Zu Mei Chang. He needs someone he can talk to about his pain over Allen. Zu Mei is one of the few people Kanda feels he can confide in and trusts.

Zu Mei’s a short man and somewhat rotund with a diamond shape tattoo on the top of his head. He has always cared deeply for Kanda and still carries guilt for what had happened to him with the Second Exorcist Program.

“Kanda, it is always good to see you,” Zu Mei says, as he walks into the room. 

“I heard you were on assignment near here, thank you for visiting me. But I can see something is deeply troubling you. What has happened Kanda?”

Looking around the room, Kanda sees many familiar mementos in Zu Mei’s living quarters. Whenever Kanda had a problem in the past, he would seek the old man out to talk with.

“I haven’t seen you so distraught in a very long time Kanda. I have a feeling this has something to do with the affairs of the heart — maybe with Allen?” he asks, softly.

Kanda turns to look at the old man shocked and then realizes Zu Mei has always known more about him then he did about himself. ‘I didn’t realize he knew about Allen and my relationship,’ Kanda’s thinking.

“Aren’t you fucking disappointed in me? That is, disappointed in me being in a relationship with Allen? Or should I say, formerly?” Kanda says, painfully as the burning in his chest inflames more.

“No, I am not disappointed in you for choosing someone you love. You could not have found anyone more suitable for you. Allen is a wonderful lad who loves you more than you realize. Yes, I have heard the rumors he cheated on you. That is a very serious sin to go against someone who has committed himself to the one he loves.”

‘He’s damn right about that. When I commit myself to someone … I love? Love Bean Sprout? I never thought of it that way.’ Kanda’s anger diffuses into deep sorrow within him.

“It’s painful Zu Mei, why the fuck would he do this to me? I would never cheat on Bean Sprout … ever. I may not be good at showing I care for him but I do,” Kanda says, anxiously pacing back and forth.

“Do you truly in your heart believe Allen would cheat on you?” Zu Mei seriously questions Kanda.

“I would have said no before but now … I don’t know,” Kanda says, now in a state of confusion as to why Allen felt he needed someone else other than him, or did he?

“Kanda, take the time to mediate on this matter. The answer is in your heart. You of all people know Allen intimately. Don’t let someone that may be pulling a prank on the both of you destroy what the two of you have built together.”

“I’m sorry old man, I need to leave the others are waiting for me. I don’t believe I can forgive the Sprout if he did betray me. We’ll talk again.” Kanda turns and leaves. ‘What do I mean _if_ he did?’

“Please be careful Kanda and remember to look into your heart,” Zu Mei says, as Kanda walks away.

Kanda has never been one who dwells on emotions of any kind but this is something he has never experience before. He is at a loss on how to deal with these feelings. No matter how he has tried to block his emotions and thoughts about their argument they keep reappearing.

‘I still see Bean Sprout’s eyes showing his hurt and confusion. If he had done this, wouldn’t I have seen the guilt in his eyes and it be written all over his face? Bean Sprout seemed to have no idea what I was talking about. Did I react and judge him too quickly? Could he be innocent in all of this? If so, why would anyone want to break us up?’

“Kanda, we have been called to another assignment. Are you ready to head out?” General Tiedoll asks, interrupting Kanda’s thoughts.

“Hell yes, let’s get out of here,” Kanda says, walking past the General.

“Are you _sure_ you are up to doing this mission Kanda. You are allowed to take a rest from this one if you need to,” the General says, concerned for Kanda’s well being.

“Shut up, I’ll be fine,” he says, irradiated.

A couple days later, General Tiedoll’s team arrives at their destination. Before the Exorcists had been called in for help, the Finders were in the small village investigating a possible sighting of Innocence which had turned out to be true. 

General Tiedoll’s team had been called when a report came in about a group of Akuma headed in that direction. Upon the teams’ arrival at the village the revolting Akuma are attacking the Finders while they try securing the Innocence.

“Marie and Kanda, head around the North side of the village while I swing to the South. Keep your golems lines open to be able to communicate. Okay, I will see you two in a while this shouldn’t take too long,” the General orders, with a nod of his head.

On the North side of the village, Marie and Kanda easily bring things under control. Marie ducks into a hut to see if everyone is unharmed while Kanda waits outside. Suddenly, the Noah Road Kamelot appears on top of the hut across from Kanda.

“So, it is you Road. Are you the one who is behind this attack?” Kanda asks, glaring at the Noah.

“Well, if it isn’t Kanda Yuu. I’m so glad you came, of course, I was hoping for Allen to be here. It would have made it simpler for me.” Road says, grinning.

“What do you want with Bean Sprout? You stay away from him or I’ll …” Kanda starts to say, still protective of Allen.

“Or you’ll what Kanda? My, my … now … hasn’t the two of you broken up?” Road says, childishly, with her fingers on her chin as if she is thinking.

“What do you know about that?” Kanda shouts at Road.

Marie hears Kanda shouting and comes outside to see what is happening.

“Well, hello Noise Marie. I was just having a conversation here with Kanda but he seems to be getting upset with the subject of Allen,” Road says, nonchalantly, rolling her eyes.

Tyki Mikk appears next to Road on top of the hut, “There you are Road. We really must be going.”

Tyki looks down to where Road is looking, “Oh, it’s Kanda Yuu. Now Road, you haven’t been doing anything to break up the cute couple, have you?” 

“Road, I know how much you adore Allen but really you wouldn’t go as low as to …” Tyki smiles slyly, looking down at Kanda, relishing the fact Kanda is angry and boiling with hatred inside.

“ _You_! You’re the one who started this … but how … it had been a Finder who told me …” Kanda stutters, as he is piecing the puzzle together.

“Well, you are catching on Kanda. A little slow but of course it is so easy to rile you when it comes to Allen,” Road smirks at him.

“But we must be going … Tyki … I want to take Kanda with us … then Allen is sure to come to me,” Road says, coyly to Tyki.

“Oh my dear, must you keep interfering when it comes to Allen? But I guess we could, maybe I could have a little fun with this too,” Tyki says, calmly to Roads.

“I’m not going anywhere with you two!” Kanda shouts, starting to pull Mugen out of his sheath.

Marie is right beside Kanda ready to help bring down the two Noah’s. But Tyki and Roads are quicker to respond, binding Kanda so he is unable to completely pull Mugen from his sheath. They are gone in the blink of an eye — with Kanda.

General Tiedoll arrives too late to save Kanda from being captured. “Marie, I heard it all over the golem. I couldn’t get here in time to help Kanda. They have taken him, haven’t they,” the General’s eyes pool with tears.

Road had taken Kanda through one of her doorways. On the other side is a colorful room where the floor is scattered with toys. A large red, satin curtain hangs swaged on a purple wall with lighted stripe roman candles suspending from the air to light the room.

Kanda sits on the floor in front of the purple wall his arms spread open with pegs driven through his hands in a crucifixion position. Unconscious, his head rests upon his chest with his long, black hair hanging down covering the bruises on his face where Tyki’s fist has hit him many times for his rudeness to Road.

He awakens to Road’s face peering into his once again, “Well, I see you are coming around. Now, if you would stop being so rude to me, Tyki wouldn’t have to keep hitting you,” Road grins.

She sits cross-legged on the floor in front of Kanda, “You know you are a very attractive man but, to me, Allen is much cuter.”

“Now that I have you out of Allen’s life I can have him. I knew I could count on your jealousy and that quick temper of yours to break up with Allen. My poor Allen has to suffer but he’ll come around. You do realize how much Allen is in love with you, don’t you Kanda?”

“You’re the Finder who told me about Allen’s affair?” Kanda asks again, to make sure he had heard right the first time.

“Of course silly, I’m very good at disguises when I need to be. Hah, if only you could have seen your face! The jealousy was quite precious. I bet you don’t even realize how much _you_ love Allen. He is much better off without you in his life. You never had treated him very well anyway,” Road says, smugly.

“Shut the fuck up Road. When I get free I’m going to enjoy slicing you up into pieces!” Kanda snarls at her.

“Now, now … I don’t want to have to have Tyki straighten you out again. I guess it won’t matter because we are going to drug you to keep you quiet. Then, we’ll probably just kill you after we have had some fun and games.”

“Tyki would you please give Yuu his medicine to help him sleep?” Road says, batting her eyes at Tyki.

“Of course I will my dear,” he replies, sweetly.

He walks over and stands in front of Kanda picking up his long, black hair from the side of his face. Kanda quickly kicks Tyki in the stomach sending him flying across the room against the other wall. He picks himself up and walks back to Kanda – not happy.

“That is _not_ a nice thing to do Kanda,” Tyki lectures, kicking Kanda several times in his sides and stomach, then injects the drug into him.

“Good night Kanda, we will be seeing Allen and I’ll be sure to give him a hug and kiss for you,” Road says, taunting him as she starts walking away.

“You stay the fuck away from him Roads!” Kanda yells after her.

Road turns her body around slightly to her right to look back at Kanda with a devilish grin on her face. “Well, I am surprise you still love him Kanda. Weren’t _you_ the one who believed he cheated on you,” Roads snickers, as she turns back around disappearing with Tyki.

‘Damn I should have trusted Bean Sprout. To think I had believed someone else over him. Having accused him wrongly he may be lost to me forever. I wouldn’t blame him if he wouldn’t come back to me. What a fool Road has made of me …’ Kanda went unconscious in the mist of his thoughts.

It has been two weeks since Kanda left on his mission. Allen is just starting to pull himself together after Kanda broke up with him. Lavi has stayed right by his side helping him get through this. Secretly, Lavi is extremely angry at Kanda for doing this to his friend.

Lavi raps on Allen’s door, “Allen, Komui wants to see us in his office. I thought we could walk down together.”

“Sure Lavi, do you know what he needs to see us about?” Allen asks, cautiously. He is never sure if it could be about Kanda, maybe something has happened to him.

Lavi and Allen meet with Komui in his office. As always, there is a mountain of paperwork piled high on his desk. No one is ever sure if he is behind the paperwork or not, but today he is and he hears both of them come into his office.

“Thank you for coming. I have some news I need to tell you Allen,” Komui says, standing up and coming around to the front of his desk.

“General Tiedoll has reported in after searching several days for Kanda. He has been captured by the Noah’s, specifically Road Kamelot and Tyki Mikk,” Komui says, coming straight to the point. 

“Do you know if he is alright? Or even why she wanted to take him?” Allen asks, his heart beating faster.     

“From what Marie could make out from their conversation, Road is the Finder who told Kanda about your affair. It had been her intent for him to break up with you, so she could have you to herself,” Komui says, gently.

“ _Road!_ I should have suspected her. Komui I’m going after Kanda,” Allen states, firmly.

“Allen, I don’t think that is a good idea. You are still weak from your emotional breakdown,” Komui says, skeptical about Allen doing this.

“Komui I can’t sit around while Kanda is out there, somewhere, and needs me. I’m going to go with or without your permission,” Allen says, irate, glaring at Komui.

“If Allen’s going out there then, I’m going with him in case he needs help,” Lavi says, standing with Allen on his decision.

 Komui sighs, giving up, “Okay, but the both of you stay together … I don’t need another couple of Exorcists missing.”

“Thank you Komui,” a grateful Allen replies, heading immediately back to his room.

Once Allen and Lavi are ready they take them to the train station. Allen’s mind has done nothing but thinks about Kanda and his safety since hearing the news and is anxious to get to the station to be on their way.

Finally, they are on the train heading to the village General Tiedoll had reported Kanda missing. It’s a day’s travel and Allen is a bundle of nerves wanting to get there faster than they are.

“Lavi … what if they …” Allen gasps for air, looking scared.

“Allen, don’t even let your mind go there. He is still alive, we just need to find him and bring him home,” Lavi says, sternly to Allen.

A sheen of sweat forms on Allen’s forehead as he looks at Lavi fighting his tears. He turns his head to look out the window.

“Lavi … Kanda is my whole world and I will do anything to save him. That means … I will … trade my life for his if I have to,” Allen says, softly, turning back to look at him. It is plain to Lavi Allen has made his decision.

He shallows hard, fighting back his own tears, for his own reasons, “I know if it comes to that point, it is exactly what I would expect you to do. But I will hate Kanda for doing this to you Allen. I can’t help it, I … I …” Lavi struggles with his words and the emotions he feels for Allen.

Allen looks solemnly at Lavi, “I think I already know what you want to say to me Lavi. I could feel your love for me during my turmoil. It’s not that I don’t love you, it’s just a different love then what I feel for Kanda.”

He looks deep into Allen’s silver eyes, gets up and walks over to sit beside him. Allen keeps eye contact until Lavi pulls him into his arms hugging him.

He whispers into Allen’s ear, “I do love you Allen Walker. Would you let me kiss you this once?  Kanda has officially broken up with you, so you wouldn’t be cheating on him."

Allen pauses a brief moment before he whispers back softly, “Yes Lavi, this one time, for being there and loving me in my time of need.”

Lavi pulls back enough to look into Allen’s caring eyes. He lowers his lips to meet his warm, soft inviting ones. Running his tongue along Allen’s wet lips, he opens them to allow his tongue to slide into the warm moist area, to touch and entwine with Allen’s soft tongue.

Moments pass as they kiss before they pull away from each other. Allen’s eyes soften and his body feels weak from the kiss. As much as he enjoyed Lavi’s passionate kiss, it still isn’t Kanda. It isn’t the crushing kisses Kanda gives him but a gentler yet firm kiss. Kanda will never hear about this from his lips. It is Lavi’s and his secret.

“Thank you Allen, it was more beautiful then I could have ever imagined. Kanda will never know about this from me,” he says, blushing, his eyes shining with love.

Their destination being announced, by the conductor, brings them back to reality. As the train slows to a stop at the station they gather their traveling cases and disembark.

In silence, they walk to the hotel and check in. The plan is to leave their belongings and head out to the village to scout around. Maybe there’s an old house or building Road is using to keep Kanda in.

“Well, what do you think Allen? Does anything strike you as odd?” Lavi asks, once they are in the village looking around.

“Not yet, but when Road had captured me she first took me through her doorway to a strange looking place. Then later I was back in some room in an old abandon house. Maybe she did that with Kanda.”

“Well, we did pass and old abandon warehouse. It’s just back up the road a little sitting out in a field,” Lavi offers.

“Okay, let’s check it out just in case.”

They head back and then turn down a road that is over grown by weeds. They approach the abandon warehouse cautiously. It is a one story building, weathered, but still looking like it’s salvageable. The over grown weeds make it have an eerie feeling.

“There doesn’t seem to be anyone moving around, so let’s go inside to look further,” Lavi whispers to Allen.

They quietly creep up to a window in the back of the warehouse. Looking in there is nothing but what is left by its previous owners. Trying another window they find that room is empty too. Noticing a back door Allen signals to Lavi to enter. The door creaks upon opening, dust and cobwebs everywhere.

Once inside there is a door leading into a room on the inside wall. As quietly as possible, Allen places his hand on the door knob turning it slowly. Opening the door he looks into what appears to be a large storage room dimly lit. Upon opening it further Allen sees Kanda with his hands pegged to the wall and his head hanging to his chest.

Allen rushes into the room and goes immediately to him, Lavi coming in right behind him. Panicking, Allen checks for a pulse, thank God he’s alive!

“Over here Lavi,” Allen whispers, as he comes over to help him remove the pegs in Kanda’s hands.

“Timcanpy go get help for us,” Allen commands his golem.

Allen gently shakes Kanda, “Kanda, can you hear me? It’s Allen Kanda.”

Kanda is still under the influence of the drug and is barely coherent as he struggles to wake up, “Bean … Sprout?  I’m sorry …”

“It’s alright Kanda, you didn’t know for sure,” Allen whispers in his ear, emotions welling up inside at Kanda saying he’s sorry.

Allen notices the deep bruises on Kanda’s beautiful face and opens his shirt to see if he has any other injuries. His stomach and sides are also deeply bruised. Allen gently applies pressure on his rib cage to see if he has any broken ribs.

“Ouch! What … it … hurts,” Kanda slowly drawls out, still in his stupor.

“Kanda, you have broken ribs and bruises all over your body,” Allen says quietly, angry at what they had done to his Kanda.

Kanda is starting to awaken a little more, “That’s what happens … when you get kicked … several times, idiot.”

“Well, at least you are beginning to sound more like your old self. We need to get you out of here, Lavi can you help me get Kanda up onto his feet?” Allen asks.

“Sure, Kanda can you stand up if we help you?” Lavi asks, trying to help get him up onto his feet.

“Hell yes … ahh … ouch!” Kanda grimaces at the pain of moving his body. He finally stands, swaying and unsteady.

“Get Mugen,” Kanda whispers to not aggravate his broken ribs. Lavi picks Mugen up and straps it over his shoulder. Then out of nowhere Road appears in the room blocking the door to exit the room.

“Well, my love has arrived at last. As you can see, Kanda Yuu was awfully rude to me, so we had to teach him a lesson or two,” Road grins, licking her lollipop.

“ _Road!_ I m not your love! You’re sick, as all the Noah’s are,” Allen says, angrily glaring at Road.

“Lavi, get Kanda out of here and to safety,” Allen commands, not taking his eyes off her.

“No, I’m not leaving you … ugh … I got you into this mess … ugh … I have to help you …” Kanda struggles to talk.

“No one is leaving this room except maybe Allen after I have killed your two friends, or should I say you ex-lover and friend,” Road laughs, twisting that invisible knife deeper into Allen’s heart.

“What do you want Road?” Allen asks, sternly.

“Why _you_ of course!” Road exclaims.

“You can’t have him, I have already told you not to touch him,” Kanda grunts, in anger.

Allen looks at Kanda with a surprise look on his face. ‘Does this mean … what I think it means?  Kanda wants me back?’

“Don’t look surprise Bean Sprout … don’t you know … I …”

“Enough of this talking,” Road yells, demanding their attention.

“Okay Allen here’s the deal. I will trade their lives for your life. You are so disappointing and I can see you will never stop loving Kanda, so I would rather see you dead than alive,” Road smirks at Allen.

“Alright, but they _both_ get to leave … understood?” Allen says, continuing to glare at Road.

“Damnit Bean Sprout! Don’t you dare make a deal like that with her … I will fight her with you,” Kanda shouts, grimacing in pain.

“Give me a minute with them Road,” Allen says, defeated.

Allen turns to Kanda, tears blurring his vision, “Kanda, I gladly give my life to save yours, I told you, I love you very deeply. You are in no condition to help me with this fight. Please, keep at least a small piece of me in your heart always.”

Kanda grabs Allen’s arms, “No … don’t do this Bean Sprout … I need … I just can’t … never again will I doubt you — don’t do this.”

Tears run down Allen’s face as he smiles at Kanda lovingly, “I know in my heart you love me and I forgive you Kanda. These arguments we will always have — it’s part of loving you. But you need to go now, remember I love you …” Allen gives Kanda a firm but gentle kiss on his lips, hugs him close then sighs with the pain stabbing his heart.

“Lavi, get Kanda to safety before I lose my nerve, and Lavi … thank you for staying by my side.”  Allen releases Kanda and turns his back to him to look at Roads.

“Okay Road let them go but I am not going down without a fight,” Allen says, with a determined look in his eyes.

Lavi drags a reluctant Kanda out of the building. They hear the battle begin between Road and Allen, both their hearts ache painfully.

“Damn you Kanda!” Lavi snaps, as he’s helping Kanda walk down the road.

“You have no idea what Allen went through with you breaking up with him. I’m the one who held him all night long, listening to his sobbing as he mourned for you. I’m the one who stayed and held him as he cried so hard he would vomit until all he had was dry heaves.

Allen loves you so much. He told me he was going to trade his life for your sorry ass! I knew I couldn’t stop him, as much as I wanted to plead with him and beg him not to do this, I knew he had made his mind up. He is not just going to be gone from your life but mine also you — bastard!” 

Lavi has tears streaming down his face as he also mourns the loss of the one _he_ loves. His heart is being ripped apart and shredded at this very moment and he couldn’t stop the feelings from flowing out of him.

Kanda stops and looks at Lavi in shock. “You..u … love … Bean Sprout … I never realized you …”

Lavi has no fear of Kanda. Why should he fear him now that he too will lose Allen? He cannot hide the intense pain he is feeling inside. It is easier to have Allen in his life, even though he is with Kanda, then not to have him at all in his life.

Lavi turns to look at the shock in Kanda’s eyes, “Yes, Kanda I love Allen too, but he is _never_ going to love me like he loves you. You are his whole world. He adores you and loves you deeper than I have seen anyone love another. I was envious of your relationship with him. If only he could love me like he loves you, he couldn’t, but at least he was in my life — alive.”

There is a large boulder nearby and Kanda needs to sit down as he listens to Lavi confess his love for Allen.  ‘I never realize Lavi loved him. To think out of the both of us Bean Sprout had chosen me, the arrogant, cold-hearted bastard that I am. He could have had Lavi, a kinder soul.’

“I never saw it Lavi, Bean Sprout could have left me at anytime but he chose to be in a relationship with me. I guess I didn’t want to see how much he loved me. Hell, I didn’t even know I loved him until recently. Now I have lost him forever.” 

Pain shows on Kanda’s face and he places his face into his hands. ‘The stabbing pain in my heart has been my love for him. Zu Mei knew this all along, Bean Sprout knew too. I couldn’t admit it to myself. Bean Sprouts eyes never lied about how he felt about me, he couldn’t nor would he ever betray me. I know this now.’

“Lavi, thank you for taking care of him, I’m feeling stronger now, at least strong enough not to let my lover be killed. Will you help me save him?” It took every ounce of Kanda’s pride to ask Lavi for help.

“If you feel you’re up to it, then yes … let’s go get our boy back!” Lavi shouts, having confidence they will succeed in saving him.

Kanda could now walk without Lavi’s assistance with the drug leaving his system and his own blood is no longer impaired to heal him. Lavi takes Mugen off his shoulder and hands it to Kanda. Kanda actually gives Lavi a slight smile.

Outside of the warehouse you can still hear the battle going on. They enter to find the inside torn apart and debris everywhere. Then they hear a loud crash in the main section of the warehouse.

“Well Allen, you certainly are giving me a workout fighting you. In fact, you have managed to exhaust me,” Roads smiles over to where Allen lies in the rumble.

“I haven’t finished with you yet,” Allen says, staggering, once he has picked himself up out of the rumble.

Allen’s clothing is tattered, he has bruises on his face and he holds his side with broken ribs.  But he is not going to die without a fight to the end. His thoughts keep straying to Kanda and hoping he is safely far away by now.

“I don’t know Allen, you look like you might fall over … you have a lot of injuries. More than I do,” Road smiles, wickedly.

Allen invokes his Crown Clown once again and attacks Road just as Kanda and Lavi enter the room. Road takes a hard hit against the wall which actually drew blood from her. Road picks herself up racing to attack Allen again but to her surprise she is stopped by Kanda and his sword Mugen.

“I think Allen has had enough but I still owe you for my treatment as your guest,” Kanda sneers at her.

He is interrupted by Tyki’s appearance, “Road my dear, the Earl wants you to come home now, playtime is over. You know you are not to kill Allen you will upset the Earl if you do. So come on let’s go home,” Tyki smiles, talking calmly to Roads.

“Well, I guess that’s enough play time for today Allen, though the Earl _is_ spoiling my fun. You were more fun than I expected, my love, so I will see you later and let’s play again soon.” Road flashes Allen one of her devious smiles, pushing Kanda away from her. Then Tyki and she disappear into her heart shape closet.

Kanda runs over to Allen, whose staggers to his feet swaying as he stands there exhausted. He reaches him in time to have him fall limp into his arms.

“I thought I told you to get out of here and to safety, you listen as well as I do to you,” Allen croaks, as Kanda holds his beaten body against him.

“Yeah you’re right, well I decided to come back to help you anyway. Let’s go home Bean Sprout,” Kanda whispers into his ear, Allen smiles, then passes out in his arms.

Allen awakens to find Kanda asleep in the chair next to his bed. Bandages wrap around Kanda’s torso and his bruises are almost gone from his face. He looks a lot better than Allen does with his ribs bandaged and bruises still showing on his face and body. It is dark, only one candle lights the room which flickers across Kanda’s beautiful face.

He tries to move only to moan, waking Kanda. He looks over and sees Allen is awake. “Well, it’s about time you came to, idiot. I was beginning to think you were never going to wake up,” Kanda says, teasingly.

“Kanda … are you alright?” Allen asks, sleepily.

“Well, I do heal faster than you do moron,” Kanda says, getting up from the chair to sit on the bed.

“Do you hurt too much for me to kiss you?” Kanda asks quietly, gazing into Allen’s eyes.

“Of course you can kiss me you big jerk,” he says, with a slight smile.

Oh yes, it is a kiss … a different kiss then they have ever shared. It is a gentle kiss but firm. Then his tongue sought out Allen’s tongue. Gently and slowly their tongues intertwine together as saliva pools in their mouths. Allen thought he had gone to heaven as this is as exciting as their hard crushing kisses.

Kanda slowly pulls away from Allen’s delicious mouth to gaze into his eyes. Allen is shock at what he has never seen in Kanda’s eyes before — love. Allen slides his arms up and around Kanda’s neck bringing him back to his mouth again for another kiss.

“Kanda, will you lay with me? I’ve missed your warm body and the scent of you,” Allen asks, sheepishly.

“Of course idiot, there is no other place I would rather be.”

Kanda slides into bed with Allen. It’s a bigger bed then normal for a hospital bed. There’s room for Kanda to fit in beside him. He slides his arm carefully under Allen’s neck to draw him closer to him. Allen snuggles as close as he could to him, breathing in his scent.

“Bean Sprout …”

“Yes, Kanda?”

“There is never going to be anyone else who is going to share a bed with you, understood?” Kanda’s eyes are full of lust for him.

“I guess you mean … Lavi?” Allen asks, innocently.

“Yes, I mean Lavi … or anyone else, only me. You belong only to me as I only belong to you. Agreed?”

“Agreed, now do you think you could kiss me again like you did a moment ago? I found it very exciting,” Allen says, smiling up into his lover’s loving eyes.

 


End file.
